Dealing with difficult people: Beware the soul suckers

Dealing with difficult people: Beware the soul suckers

Dealing with difficult people: Beware the soul suckers

I’ve written about jerks before. I define a jerk as someone who makes life more difficult for others (nice people spend their lives trying to do just the opposite). But on the subject of dealing with difficult people, there is also a certain type of person who will suck the life out of you if you let them. They are not good for us, but for some reason we keep trying to work it out—to help them or “resolve” them. 

Usually it is from some sense of obligation (which they definitely encourage), or a vow or promise we made in the past about our relationship with this person. Or, they are related to us or someone close to us, and it is very difficult to avoid interaction.

Whatever the reason, we stick it out, and over time they literally suck the life out of us.  Read more

How to stay sane and happy when those around you are not

How to stay sane and happy when those around you are not

How to stay sane and happy when those around you are not

If you are the least bit empathetic and prone to want to help others, it is very easy to be pulled into another person’s dysfunction. It can be especially detrimental if they are stuck in a Groundhog Day universe of their own making, where they refuse to see that the problem keeps recurring because they refuse to make the required internal changes. In those cases, sometimes it’s better to walk away. But sometimes you can’t; sometimes the other person is a family member or someone you work with, and walking away is out of the question. So what do you do? How do you stay sane and happy when those around you are not?

You don’t internalize their dysfunction. 

You stay calm as they rant and rave. You empathize, but you don’t internalize. You understand, but you don’t internalize. You want to help, and you do what you can, but you don’t internalize. Read more

woman sitting by her mac book stressed

How to live a stress-free life

woman sitting by her mac book stressed

Stuff happens. Good stuff and bad stuff. All day, every day. To everyone. No one is immune. And when it comes to the bad stuff, there are two kinds of people: Those who stress about it and those who don’t. Those who stress about it get anxious, worried, insecure, angry, and paralyzed with fear. Those who don’t stress just deal with the bad stuff and keep moving. What do they know that the others don’t? Why do they know how to live a stress-free life?

The answer is simple. They see stress for what it is and decide that they won’t take part in it. 

So what is stress? Read more

how to be happy alone

How to be happy alone

how to be happy alone

I have a couple of dear friends who are deathly afraid of being alone. They worry about it. They cry—hard—when they think about it. The source of this fear started when they were very young; their parents were not loving and literally made them feel worthless. That feeling of worthlessness stayed with them into adulthood, and affected all of their decisions and relationships. 

What does this have to do with “learning more to earn more”? A lot.  Read more

But You Don’t Live There Anymore

But You Don’t Live There Anymore

kristins wisdom

Bad stuff happens to good people. Bad stuff causes the victim to make a vow.

“I’ll never trust anyone again.”

“I’m never going to let anyone get close to me.”

“I’m so disappointed in [someone]. I won’t let anyone do that to me again.”  Read more

How Life Works: Tests, Lessons, and Self-Mastery

How Life Works: Tests, Lessons, and Self-Mastery

When we are born, we show up as a new character in the middle of a movie. What happens next—and the success we achieve before we die—is determined by 1) the circumstances we find ourselves in and 2) what we do about them.

Most of us are driven by certain desires and dreams for our lives. As our lives progress, we pursue success. We want to do more than survive; we want to thrive and excel. We want to be exceptional, to “make a difference,” as everyone says.

In order for that to happen, we need to pass the tests we are faced with, learn lessons we can apply going forward, and then, finally, learn self-mastery, which makes life amazingly wonderful. It’s not easy. But it can be done, with just one change in your thinking. Let’s look at tests, lessons, and self-mastery.

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Want more respect? Change the way you communicate.

brainstorming-business-businesswomen-1093913

We work with others – and communicate with them – all day. How others perceive us makes a big difference in how we are viewed and treated at work. Our communication habits either make it easier for people to support and promote us, or make them decide not to support and promote us.

In other words, how we communicate has a big effect on our success. It matters. A lot.
Read more

Business 101 – The money part of business

Business 101 – The money part of business

This is a super basic article for the person who really doesn’t understand how businesses work. It’s written mostly for teenagers who haven’t been taught anything about business (except maybe that businesses are terrible).

The first thing I need to say is that businesses, on the whole, are NOT terrible.

The second thing I need to say is that there is a BIG difference between small (and medium) businesses and very large businesses. This isn’t true in all cases – there are actually some pretty OK large businesses – but they are rare. It’s like the difference between Southwest Airlines, which is filled with friendly workers, and United, which I walked away from forever even though I had 100,000 frequent flyer miles I could be using. Read more

Business English Tech Find job

Business 101 – How to be employable

It’s easier than ever to find work, and for companies to find people. There are a number of sites that will let you work from home, like Upwork.com, no matter where you live. There are dozens of job boards online.

That’s not the problem. The problem is, once you start looking asking for interviews, you need to be employable.

And, if you’re starting a business, you need to be someone people want to hire.

So. Let’s look at this, this way.

You will NOT be hired, or given more work, if you:

  • Can’t write English.
  • Are discourteous, dismissive, or rude.
  • Don’t understand what really needs to be done or how to work with others.
  • Are not effective with today’s technical tools.

So. Read more

Business English Tech

Business – English – Tech: Start Here

They don’t teach this stuff in school, and yet, when you get out of school, you are faced with the prospect of working for 40+ years.

Chances are, you will work in a business, or even start your own business.

In fact, your success in life – your ability to support  yourself and your family and have enough money to retire comfortably, and enjoy the options that enough money gives you – will depend on your knowledge of business, English (mostly writing, in the universal language of commerce), and technology. Read more