My husband sums it up this way: “The world has always been going to hell in a handbasket. The trick is to stay out of the handbasket.” He is so right. And this great advice is at the core of, as they say, “living life to the fullest,” which is cliche talk for “how to have a great life.”
If you spend just 5 minutes a day catching up with the “news,” you can get really bummed. The news, by its very nature, is filled with seemingly unresolvable turmoil. That’s what makes it news; there is a problem that has not yet been solved, and needs to be.
Problems that have been solved are pretty boring. Read more →
What does “success in life” really look like? It means that you are happy more than you are not; that you love and are loved; that you achieve what you set out to do; and you have very few disappointments. In fact, if you focus on the two main aspects of life that make everything else work, you may end up with no disappointments at all.
The two key aspects are kindness and common sense.
Civilization literally breaks down when there is a lack of kindness. Life as we know it depends almost 100% on people being kind to each other.
Your work life and your personal life are filled with decisions. In fact, it’s probably the activity we undertake the most, if you consider that we make decisions constantly throughout any given day. I’m going to share some decision-making skills that will help you become an effective decision-maker.
There are many reasons this is important.
If you work inside an organization and you make good decisions at work, your managers will take notice and start thinking about promoting you.
If you own your own business, your business will grow faster, and those who work for you will enjoy it.
If you learn how to make good decisions in life, you will have very few regrets. Why is it so important to reduce regrets? Because a regret is something that sticks with you the rest of your life; it is something you can’t change, but wish you could. Read more →
I’ve written about jerks before. I define a jerk as someone who makes life more difficult for others (nice people spend their lives trying to do just the opposite). But on the subject of dealing with difficult people, there is also a certain type of person who will suck the life out of you if you let them. They are not good for us, but for some reason we keep trying to work it out—to help them or “resolve” them.
Usually it is from some sense of obligation (which they definitely encourage), or a vow or promise we made in the past about our relationship with this person. Or, they are related to us or someone close to us, and it is very difficult to avoid interaction.
Whatever the reason, we stick it out, and over time they literally suck the life out of us. Read more →
At any given moment, working in front of our screens, we have a choice: Distraction or production. The choice you make, dozens of times during the day, will make or break your life; will send you higher or keep you down. If you are looking for a productivity formula, welcome. One simple change will take you to new heights in terms of work productivity.
This is particularly important now, as a worldwide disaster is also a worldwide distraction. We are so connected that we know when they run out of toilet paper in a store in another country, as it is happening. Politicians are arguing, the press is commenting, people are sharing their own experiences, and charts and graphs tell a terrible story. No one knows how this will turn out.
That’s a lot of uncertainty and information to process. Read more →
If you are the least bit empathetic and prone to want to help others, it is very easy to be pulled into another person’s dysfunction. It can be especially detrimental if they are stuck in a Groundhog Day universe of their own making, where they refuse to see that the problem keeps recurring because they refuse to make the required internal changes. In those cases, sometimes it’s better to walk away. But sometimes you can’t; sometimes the other person is a family member or someone you work with, and walking away is out of the question. So what do you do? How do you stay sane and happy when those around you are not?
You don’t internalize their dysfunction.
You stay calm as they rant and rave. You empathize, but you don’t internalize. You understand, but you don’t internalize. You want to help, and you do what you can, but you don’t internalize.Read more →
Stuff happens. Good stuff and bad stuff. All day, every day. To everyone. No one is immune. And when it comes to the bad stuff, there are two kinds of people: Those who stress about it and those who don’t. Those who stress about it get anxious, worried, insecure, angry, and paralyzed with fear. Those who don’t stress just deal with the bad stuff and keep moving. What do they know that the others don’t? Why do they know how to live a stress-free life?
The answer is simple. They see stress for what it is and decide that they won’t take part in it.
I have a couple of dear friends who are deathly afraid of being alone. They worry about it. They cry—hard—when they think about it. The source of this fear started when they were very young; their parents were not loving and literally made them feel worthless. That feeling of worthlessness stayed with them into adulthood, and affected all of their decisions and relationships.
What does this have to do with “learning more to earn more”? A lot. Read more →
“These are the times that try men’s souls.” – Thomas Paine
What is your dream? Where are you going? What do you want to accomplish before you leave this earth?
These are questions that you don’t ask yourself much as you navigate through your everyday life. But as you get older, and the time you have left gets shorter, you get more serious about it. Or, you just give up. Read more →
I’ve come to define jerks simply as people who make life more difficult for other people. Kind people—the non-jerks in the world—do just the opposite. They endeavor to make life easier for others.
Working with jerks is a painful mess that is never fun nor rewarding; makes you want to give up; frustrates the heck out of you; and keeps you from doing your best work. In short, working with jerks makes kind people unhappy.
There is really only one, very short piece of advice I have to give you about how to work with jerks: