We only have so much time in this life. That’s a fact.
Most of us also have some life-long goals, things we want to accomplish before we aren’t here anymore.
The obvious challenge is to meet those goals sooner rather than later because none of us know when our lives will end. That’s the big picture.
The day-to-day picture is that there are obstacles to be overcome before we can meet our goals.
The most difficult obstacles are those we create ourselves. Every day contains several tests that we have to pass, and if we don’t pass them, we will be tested again and again.
Procrastination and rationalization are at the top of the “toughest obstacles” list.
Let’s look at the cause of each and then the cure.
The true cause of procrastination
Again, speaking from the standpoint of a goal-oriented person, we work hard. Work is more than a 9-to-5 experience for many, especially since so many people are still working from home.
So the guilt is always with us. There is always more to do. There is always someone who needs us. And their ability to reach us via our devices is a 24/7 reality.
This means that we don’t allow ourselves much reflection or relaxation time, even though it is something that every human needs. (I’ll call this R&R, which normally stands for “rest and relaxation.”)
Our brain knows that. Our spirit feels the lack. Our peace suffers because of it.
But then there is that guilt . . . so instead of consciously giving ourselves the R&R time, we subconsciously steal that time from our days.
We get lost in social media rabbit holes. We spend some time eating a snack our waistline can’t afford, because it forces us to stop working for a few minutes. In other words, we distract ourselves with something pleasant that does us no good—and can even have negative consequences—as compensation for the lack of good, solid R&R.
The cure for procrastination
One of my husband’s favorite sayings was “find it, face it, fix it.” Once you’ve identified the problem, and faced it, it’s time to fix it.
The fix is a simple concept, but it’s difficult to do because of the guilt.
If you try to do good and you strive to do your best, you have a conscience. That’s good.
It also means that guilt of this kind is not your friend. It is a negative force in your life that is keeping you from reaching your full potential and living a calm, content life while doing so.
So rather than pay attention to this negative force, you decide instead that you will consciously make time for reflection and relaxation. You’ll need a quiet, private space for this; a place in your house where you feel safe.
You should be able to lie down, and if you fall asleep while you are in that space, that’s okay. And rather than trying to empty your mind, consciously listen to the sounds outside your head. Having a small fan running helps with this; you can listen to that white noise.
Ask your questions; let your mind focus on whatever is troubling you. Then listen.
The answers will be whispers, not shouting. They will be new concepts that hadn’t occurred to you before.
This is an effective way to tune into a power larger than ourselves, a higher power that wants the best for you. For me, that’s God, whom I have found to be reliable, informative, inspiring, and comforting.
You will know when you have your answer because you will be in a completely new frame of mind, ready to get up and give it your all once more.
The cause of rationalization
Insecurity—the feeling of being inferior to others and “not good enough”—is another negative force that does no one any good.
Being insecure forces us to live in a world that doesn’t even exist except in our minds. We compare ourselves to others and feel like we come up short. If we make a mistake, we chastise ourselves and speak to ourselves in a way that we would never speak to others. We become our own worst enemy.
We can’t stand the fact that we made a mistake, so we try to hide it from others.
But others are not fooled. Mistakes are easy to spot.
So rather than making ourselves look better by trying to hide the mistake, the opposite happens. Those who see the mistake know that you are denying its existence, and they will start to question your trustworthiness.
Rationalization, like guilt, is not your friend.
The cure for rationalization
As I said above, if you try to do good and you strive to do your best, you have a conscience. That’s good.
That also puts you on par with every other well-meaning person in the world. No more and no less.
Yes, you will make mistakes. You can’t live a full life without making mistakes. But if you see yourself as you really are—a person who tries to do good and who strives to do your best—then you simply admit to the mistake and figure out how to avoid it in the future.
You don’t have to feel ashamed. You don’t have to beat yourself up. You don’t have to make excuses.
You are honest with yourself and others about what happened, you apologize, and you figure out how to avoid that mistake in the future.
Life gets a lot easier and peaceful once you start doing this. The stress you have often tried to deal with will just start melting away.
Instead of wasting mental time sweating over a mistake, you simply find it, face it, and fix it.
Those who know you made a mistake will see that you are not running from it or trying to hide it, and they will respect you for that. They will also decide you can be trusted.
A new kind of life can be yours.
So many people have come to me suffering from these issues. I often tell them that there is no vacuum in the spiritual world. There is good, and there is the opposite. It is impossible to simply “get rid” of negative thoughts and behaviors; we need to replace them.
These cures are designed to do just that: replace the negative with the positive, death with life, and dark with light.