I have a very dear friend who is intelligent, has a great sense of humor, and is one of the most balanced and wise humans I know. But even she has trouble living in the present, which means that she is often stressed about the past, and, even more often, the future.
Now, in her case, her father, whom she was very close to, died when she was a young child. This was blindsiding, with a capital B. This led her to be independent and proficient, which also meant that her happiest place was one where she felt in control.
I can relate; my parents divorced when I was a month old, and I took the same path in order to make sure that I could depend on at least one person in my life (me).
The problem is that we are not in control of everything in our lives. The future holds many surprises for us. And the past cannot be changed. (You can apologize if you have blown it—always a good idea, when you know you should. The sooner the better.) Read more